Saturday, February 27, 2010

Who Is Cyanide?

Hey there blog readers. I'm glad you stopped by. I thought that since I had such a fun time writing my weight loss blog, that I would also write a more personal blog so that we could get to know one another. I'm not sure what this blog will entail particularly, so stay tuned for all sorts of fun, random, off the wall, serious, depressing, and occasionally morbid posts!

Since this is my FIRST BLOG POST on my new blog, I should probably tell you all a little bit about myself. If you don't know who I am, then buckle your seat belts, because you're in for a bumpy ride. Or...just hold on to your hats. Either way.........*Makes Whooshing Sound* Annnnnnnnnnd, we're off.

 

So, here I am. This is me. Hi. How are ya? 
My name is Sarah, but my SN on most sites is "CyanideSarah." I'm sure you read my name and thought that it sounded emo. Who would want their name to be associated with poison? You wonder...Well, obviously this girl. No-actually, all that began as an xbox gamer tag. (hint: if you have xbox 360, that's my gamertag.) From there, I just began using it more and more on the internet until it stuck. Hence why this blog is listed under......yep, you guessed it http://cyanidestory.blogspot.com. Funny how that works out huh? Okay, enough with the small talk. Let's get down to business.

As I began saying before, my name is Sarah. I am a soon-to-be twenty four year old, and I am a stay at home mom. It's so weird to categorize myself in with the "twenty something" crowd, because I feel like I should have just turned twenty-one. Unfortunately for me, that was a few years ago! It's okay though, I'm learning how to live life. 

My days are spent with a few of my favorite things::


Let me tell you a little bit about all 3.

[Number One-The Family:]
Well, number one is easy. I love my family. My hubby "Mr. V" and my baby girl are my whole world. I couldn't imagine a day without either of them. I spend a lot of time complaining about my husband, but he almost always does something redeem himself. We met online when we were 15 years old. No it wasn't myspace, facebook, twitter, hi-5, xanga, or any other weird random networking site. We met the old fashioned way, in a yahoo chat room. Well, actually that's debatable since neither of us remember exactly where we met on the information highway, but that's the only place we both frequented. With that being the case, I'm sure that's what happened. We spent the next few years talking every day online.

After a while, chatting online just didn't seem like it was enough. By now we had been talking to one another for somewhere around five or six years.  We agreed that we would talk on the phone and see how things flowed. We were both nervous, but our conversations quickly took off. We spent hours and hours on the phone each and every night. We never ran out of things to say, and even though we lived 14 hours apart, we clicked.

A few more years went by and this time talking on the phone was becoming less satisfying. We decided to take the next step. We were going to meet. I was terrified. I'm easily influenced by all forms of media outlet, and I wondered if this was a set up, a trap, an imposter, or a person wanting to harm me. Then, for some reason...all those worries subsided and I just felt that I knew Mr. V too well for that. Just to be safe, my mother gave me the number of a relative who only lived a few miles from where I was goin to visit. She told me if I needed anything, if things got weird, if I felt uncomfortable, if anything out of the ordinary happened...I should call that number. Luckily, I didn't need to.

I spent 2 hours riding to the airport, and just as luck would have it...there was a tornado. I wound up having to SPEND THE NIGHT in the fricking airport, my first time flying by myself as an adult. (And the first flying experience that I even remember in fact.) I wound up sleeping on my backpack in the airport, waiting for morning. My new flight was leaving around six in the morning. This made things awkward because Mr. V had to wait and play it by ear. I spent an hour and a half flying, had a layover for 30 minutes, spent another hour and a half flying, and finally made it to Nashville, TN.

As I got off the plane I realized just how big the Nashville airport was. I felt lost, and I was in a panic. I get anxiety attacks easily, and I could feel one coming on just then. I called Mr. V in a panic and asked him where I needed to go. He told me to go straight and that I would find the exit signs, but just then my phone died. I sat there with my heart racing, wondering what to do. I noticed that the walkways had outlets down the side every few feet. I walked over to a window, sat down on the floor next to the walkway with my things, and plugged in my phone. I sat there for a good ten minutes while poor Mr. V was waiting for me to come out of the gate, but never did. After my phone charged for ten minutes, I walked straight as I had been informed and looked for Mr. V. We had chatted online, video chatted, photo exchanged, and we were also friends on a few of the a fore mentioned social networking sites. I knew what he looked like, but I couldn't shake the mental image of a box around his head from all of the video chatting. We still laugh about that to this day.

When I finally spotted Mr. V, I walked up to him and we said our hellos. We walked to his car and sat in awkward silence for most of the ride. Two hours later, we were at his house. Within hours we were acting like we had known each other for years. We went out together, I met his friends, his family, his dad, and we just were inseparable. He ended up having to work a few of the days that I was visiting, so he just let me lay around his house, rummage through his room, use his computer, sleep in his bed, and he would even bring me home breakfast in bed, or lunch depending on his shift. I couldn't believe how sweet he was. I knew I loved him right then. Unfortunately, a lot of people didn't like that fact.

After my visit, I couldn't imagine life without him. We made plans to move in together, just as soon as I could save enough money to move down. It took a few months, but finally I made my way to Tennessee. He had pawned all of his belongings to get us a duplex. We hardly had anything to our name, but we knew we were in love. We spent the first night in our duplex powerless. It was November and forty degrees outside. We bunched up all of the pillows, blankets, and clothes that we could find into a pile. That pile is where we slept all night huddled up in each others arms. When he got up to go to work, I got up and began making the duplex feel more like a home. Just then, the landlord shows up. He asked me if I slept there the night before, to which I replied "nope, just got up early to come get some work done." He nodded in approval, did what he came to do, and left. I went to the bathroom, glanced at myself in the mirror, and was surprised to find that my lips were blue. I decided that I should probably find a place to hang out until Mr. V got home from work. Luckily the landlord had a cabin next door to our duplex, and he insisted I stay there for the day until the power company could come hook up our heat. I was fine with that idea.

Mr. V and I have been living together since November of 2007. We became an "official" couple in January of 2008. We got pregnant, got married, and had a baby all within that same year. Our first year together, had suddenly become our first year for everything. We were first time roommates, first time lovers, first time husbands and wives, and now first time parents all within the span of 12 months. It was a whirlwind to say the least. But here we are, 2 years later and I couldn't imagine my life any other way. I couldn't imagine a happiness like the one that I feel every time I see my daughter. She is my whole world.


[Number Two-My Camera]

Ah yes, my camera. My camera is my other baby. She is just under 12 months old, and she is one of my true passions. Sure, I may not be the greatest at handling her, but by god I'm learning. I bought my baby (Aka: Canon Rebel XSi) last April just after we got our taxes back. I wanted a camera that was fast enough to take split second photos of my daughter while she did something cute, but once I purchased it my old passion for photography was reawakened.

I have spent the past year taking as many photos as I can, editing them, and sometimes even selling them to friends or giving them away. I'm amazed at how many people believe I take good pictures, since I'm literally new to this world. I am trying to learn new tips and tricks, and I even recently ordered a new book that is supposed to help me hone my skills. I can't wait to see what it has to teach me. I will post some random photography in my blogs as time passes. If you don't like it, then tell me why. If you do, well...erm, still tell me why! I'm excited to hear your feedback.


[Number Three-My Computer]

I love my computer. I guess I probably sound a lot like a tech geek. I guess in a way you could say that. I love to design web pages, I like to learn HTML and CSS, and I enjoy spending my time playing The Sims 3. I browse the web, check my facebook, and google absolutely random knowledge just to kill the time. I love that the world wide web is an instant connection to all of my friends and family back home. It just makes life so much easier. I guess I should have said more about my computer, but really...it's a computer, what's left to say. Oh, her name is Ezra. <3


Well, I know this wasn't really as informative as you might have hoped, but there's always tomorrow...Heck, there might be three posts before you get a chance to read this. In fact, I might just have to make a few new posts later.


Peace, Love, and Random Blogging
Sarah V.

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